


new york love story

by valiantlybold



Series: Not Just A Random Dicking [10]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, X-Men (Movieverse)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Bucky Barnes, Break Up, Breaking Up & Making Up, Bucky Barnes Feels, Daddy Kink, Dirty Talk, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Exhibitionism, Face Slapping, Field Trip, Genderfluid Bucky Barnes, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Infidelity, M/M, Making Love, Making Up, Misunderstandings, Rimming, Rough Sex, Spanking, Sugar Baby Bucky, Sugar Daddy, Sugar Daddy Logan, Top Logan, logan has feelings and doesnt know what to do
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-18 00:14:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29109138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/valiantlybold/pseuds/valiantlybold
Summary: Bucky's class goes to New York City to visit Stark Industries, and Logan comes along for the ride.And what a ride it is...
Relationships: Frank Castle/Matt Murdock, James "Bucky" Barnes/Logan (X-Men)
Series: Not Just A Random Dicking [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1300253
Kudos: 39





	1. Chapter 1

Logan’s got no idea why he agreed to this.

No, actually, that’s a lie. He _does_ know why he agreed to this, he’s just mad that Bucky’s _kicked puppy_ look fucking _worked_ on him.

So here Logan is, packed into a luxurious bus with about forty-odd twenty-something year old geniuses who’re still soaking in pubescent acne and teenage angst. It’s not a stretch to say that he’s probably the only fully functioning human-being in the bunch, and his functioning isn’t even that great.

All this, because of fucking Tony fucking Stark.

Logan hates him on principle, the generous bastard.

_Nurturing the great minds of tomorrow,_ or whatever Bucky said the guy said. Inviting out a bunch of the school’s classes (one at a time, thank fuck) to visit the Stark Industries factories and offices and shit in New York, putting everyone up at one of his hotels, inviting everyone to bring a _plus one_ because he’s just _that_ generous, isn’t he?

Well.

Logan _is_ happy for Bucky. Stark’s one of his idols. And with this trip, he’s not only going to get to _meet_ his idol, he (and all the other students) get to introduce a project proposal of their own making to vie for internships with S.I after graduation, to make said project hopefully come to life. It’s got to be a dream come true on Bucky’s part. Hell, for most of them.

He just doesn’t really understand why _he_ had to come. He loves Bucky and he loves supporting him and all his dreams, no doubt about it, but… This trip is just going to be a lot of science talk and tours of boring offices and noisy factories, and Logan… Logan’s not good at the science stuff. Ain’t got the brains for it. Only science he knows even the slightest thing about is how to keep an engine running smoothly. All this other stuff, it’s just way over his head, is all.

Point is, Logan is probably going to spend the whole trip either bored out of his mind or confused as shit.

“You are _so_ lucky that you’re cute and that I adore you with every fiber of my being,” he mutters at Bucky, who sits beside him.

Bucky snorts, reaching over to pat Logan’s arm. “Aw, you’re so sweet,” he says, then nods at the laptop Logan’s just barely paying attention to. “Watch your movie.”

“I can _feel_ the residual teenage angst filling my pores.”

“Good thing we’re goin’ straight to the hotel, then. We can hop in the shower and give ya a _deep_ scrub.”

Logan grunts. He flinches when a tiny bag of peanuts hits him in the side of the head. Looking over in the direction it came from, he sees Bucky’s friend Natasha across the aisle, giving them both an unimpressed look.

“Can you at least keep it in your pants ‘til we get to the hotel?” she says, salt dripping from her voice.

Bucky grins at her; he grabs the peanuts she threw at them and opens the bag, popping one of the nuts in his mouth. “No promises.”

*

_“Ah! Oh, fuck!”_

“Beautiful, Daddy’s perfect boy,” Logan murmurs into Bucky’s ear. “Fuck, always feel so good for Daddy.”

He moans as Bucky’s nails dig into his back, the kid’s legs wrapped tight around his waist.

The glass squeaks as Bucky’s naked back rubs against it. Logan holds him tightly.

The whole city is just beyond that glass, just one sheet of glass between them and the world.

_“Yes! Daddy! Oh, fu- Yes!”_ Bucky whimpers, claws digging deeper.

Logan’s going to have red lines all over his back. _Again._

“Whole city’s gonna see us, baby,” Logan rumbles. “See what good boy I got.”

_“Hngh-_ fuck! Daddy! _Daddy, oh, God, yes!”_

God, he’s beautiful like this. He looks so perfect. Logan loves this. Not just the sex (though the sex is _magnificent)_ but just... Making Bucky happy. If sex is the way to do it at this moment, then Logan will do it, happily. If the way to make him happy is something else, he’ll gladly to do that too, or instead, or after or before, or whenever Bucky wants it or needs it; if it makes Bucky _happy,_ Logan will do it, no matter what it is.

Bucky’s health and happiness comes before anything and everything else.

Bucky cries out; Logan feels him spill, cum spurting over both their stomachs, and he feels how Bucky’s hole clenches and flutters. How is Logan supposed to hold back, when Bucky is so perfect?

Hot breaths mingle in a lazy kiss. The afterglow is bright enough to burn.

Still, Logan can feels his legs and back starting to object to the position. He peels them off the window and shuffles half-blind over to the bed. He manages to climb in and get them somewhat comfortable, before they both completely succumb to the post-sex jellies.

“Love you,” Bucky whispers, still panting, as the jelly starts to take over them both.

“Love you too,” Logan replies.

In a last ditch exertion of every ounce of his strength, Logan grabs at the covers and tugs them up over their sweaty, jellied bodies.

*

In the morning, they all pack onto the subway and head up north. When they get there, Stark Tower is... Well, it sure is a monument to the guy's ego, Logan figures.

He has to admit, it is kind of pretty, though. Sleek. All...steel and glass. Very...modern? Uch, honestly, Logan’s got no clue.

He just sticks close to Bucky’s side and carries his backpack for him. The rest of it is of less importance.

A tall redheaded woman is there to meet them in the lobby, introducing herself as Pepper Potts. Most of the students _ooh_ and _aah_ at her, but Logan’s pretty sure he’s never heard the name before. Miss Potts hands out visitor’s badges, instructing them to make sure their badges are clearly visible at all times and to not remove it until they are leaving the building, then bids them to come along. She has a few more women join her, whom she introduces as secretaries, then they all split up into smaller groups to fit in the elevators. Some six or seven people, each with a secretary to keep an eye on them.

They ride just a few floors up to start with, and are shown around one of the office pools. Miss Potts leads the whole group, speaking in a loud, clear voice to be easily heard by everyone. The secretaries follow at the back of the pack, ready to assist the next time they split up for the elevators. Miss Potts explains that this whole floor deals mainly with patents, copyrights, intellectual properties, and so on; all products, processes, and so forth created by Stark Industries are piped through here for judgement on what sort of protections it will need, and said protections are then also put into place from here, to ensure that Stark Industries work remains their own. Save for those certain projects _designed_ to be shared freely, such as their mobile miniature water purification plant, their pop-up solar power plants, and so on; the ideas made to better the lives of those in desperate need. For example, in impoverished areas, places affected by drought and natural disasters, and war zones, to name a few.

Then they shuffle on to the next office pool, and the next, and the next, and Logan really doesn’t understand how all these kids can still be so interested after _three hours_ of this.

Thank Christ they at least get to break for lunch after that. The cafeteria is about as modern and sleek and stylish as the rest of the damn place. Logan picks out boxed lunches at counter for him and Bucky, then joins him and his friends at the table they picked.

They’re all fawning over, well, _everything._ And Logan’s not one to devalue another’s interests and such just because they don’t match his own personal tastes, _but_ that doesn’t mean he _gets it._ It’s a cool building with some offices. There’s a hundred of them on this damn block alone; what makes this particular one so special, is all he’s asking, really.

“You okay, honey?”

Logan looks up from his food. Just his luck; it’s all vegan and gluten free and shit. Would it kill them to put in a slice of fucking _bread?_

He clears his throat. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Lemme guess,” Bucky says, resting his hand on Logan’s back. “You’re bored. And you’re a lil’ mad the food’s all vegan.”

Logan shrugs. “You ain’t wrong. Don’t worry ‘bout it, though,” he insists. “This trip, it ain’t about me. You just... You focus on blowin’ their minds with your presentation, okay?”

Bucky smiles and everything is right in the world.

“Okay,” he says. “But you don’t have to stay if you don’t wanna. I’m sure there’s plenty’a stuff to do in the city, if you’d like.”

“And miss your presentation? You’re crazy if you think _that’s_ happenin’.”

Bucky laughs and damn if Logan doesn’t fall head over heels for him all over again.

“I promise we’ll do some fun stuff on our day off tomorrow, okay?” Bucky tells him. “We can look around the city, and go shopping, and maybe have dinner somewhere nice. Yeah?”

Logan has to smile at that, and at the gentle way Bucky pets down him back. “Yeah. Let’s do that.”

The lunch hour ends, upon which Miss Potts calls a series of names, whom are then guided to one of the upper floors, while the rest a relieved for the day. Upstairs, they’re shown into a sort of lecture hall, with a stage and a big screen behind it, and rows of chairs to seat an audience. On Miss Potts’ orders, they all find some seats and get comfortable.

“Alright, then!” Miss Potts says as she steps up on the stage. “I hope you are ready for your presentations! As you’ve already been informed, we’ll go in alphabetical order and everyone gets fifteen minutes to present their project idea. Once you’ve presented, you’re welcome to leave and enjoy the city, of course. But if you do, please do so quietly! Please remember to afford your classmates this chance, just like you get to have the chance, okay?”

Logan squeezes Bucky’s thigh. He can feel the kid shaking with nerves, and he clutches his project folder tightly to his chest. Thanks to his surname, he’s not only in the first group, he’ll also be among the first of _them_ to go up too.

“And _now,_ what I’m guessing you’ve all been waiting for,” Miss Potts continues. “The man himself, _Tony Stark!”_

The small audience erupts into applauds and cheers as the man steps onto the stage from the wings. He smiles with big white teeth and waves and blows kisses, and Logan reluctantly claps along.

Hm. Tiny guy, ain’t he? Short lil’ shit. Now the size of the tower makes sense, at least. Or Logan hopes _that’s_ what he’s compensating for, anyway. Otherwise, he’d be infinitely more uncomfortable with this whole thing.

“Hello, my lovelies, and _welcome!”_ the guy shouts to the crowd. “It is my _distinct_ pleasure to have you here, and to see the brilliant minds of tomorrow begin to sprout their wings for the first time right in front of my eyes. Anyway, I’m not gonna bore ya with a lecture, so let’s get to it, shall we? Pepper?”

Miss Potts calls the first name.

Logan settles in and tries to get comfortable.

Thankfully, though, Bucky’s turn comes up quick, as expected. He presses a short kiss to Logan’s cheek, Logan wishes him good luck, then he hurries up onto the stage. Miss Potts and Stark sit a few rows ahead of the class.

As prepared, Bucky’s slides light up the big screen behind him, just like it had for the previous presentations. Bucky had fretted over his slides for a whole week before finally giving up and sending them in, before he could polish them to death.

Now, a lot of Bucky’s presentation goes over Logan’s head. It’s a lot of fancy words and numbers and statistics and shit, but Bucky says them confidently and manages to own his time on stage. He gestures now and then to his slides, changing them with the remote in his hand, to the sketches and blueprints he’s mocked up. It’s got to do with prosthetics and manufactured transplant organs, and how to connect said prosthetics to the brain and how to efficiently create both the prosthetics and the organs, and make it cost a fraction of what it might cost otherwise, both to create and to purchase and install.

To Logan’s ears, he’s got magnificent ideas. Hopefully, Logan’s right, and Stark agrees.

Before long, Bucky’s time is up. He thanks Stark for the opportunity, places his project folder in the stack with the others, then returns to his seat to let the next person have their chance.

Bucky _collapses_ into his seat and throws himself at Logan, hugging him incredibly tightly. Logan hugs him back.

“You did great, baby,” Logan whispers. “He’s a fool if he don’t pick you.”

“You really think so?”

“’Course I do. You’re brilliant.”

“Thanks. Lemme catch my breath for a bit and we can head out, okay?”

“Sure.”

They sit back in their seats again, though keep a hold of each other’s hand.

Just as he turns back, Logan catches Stark himself peering over his shoulder at the crowd. He quickly turns back to focus on the presentation that’s about to start.

Logan could swear he was looking at them, though. At him and Bucky.

*

The next day is _much_ more to Logan’s tastes.

He gets to be alone with Bucky, and walk through the city with him and browse through a lot of fancy shops and shit, and they eat pretzels and hotdogs and donuts from street vendors; damn, there’s not much that beats New York street food.

And _damn,_ he loves spoiling Bucky these days, because it’s like Bucky’s _trained_ himself; when he gets spoiled, he _needs_ to thank Daddy. He starts to flush red as soon as Logan offers to buy him the dress he was looking at; he’s biting his lips and batting his lashes by the time they’ve gone through the fourth store. He’s clinging to Logan’s arm after a few more. After the tenth, he’s panting in Logan’s ear.

_“Daddy,”_ he whimpers.

Logan’s never hailed a cab so quickly in his life.

He can hardly keep them both clothed on the way to the hotel, with how Bucky’s tugging at them. His resolve _almost_ breaks when they make it into the elevator, when Bucky drags him close, puts himself between Logan and the wall, nails raking through Logan’s hair.

“So nice, Daddy, so good t’me, always givin’ me pretty things,” he moans in Logan’s ear, mouthing at his skin. “Lemme say thanks, Daddy? Will you, Daddy? Wanna say thanks, wanna be good and say thanks t’my Daddy.”

Logan _wants_ to touch him, but his hands are full with shopping bags. He hushes Bucky softly instead.

“It’s okay, kitten, we’re almost to our room, okay? Hold on a lil’ longer. C’mon, pretty boy, act proper now, ‘til we get there.”

Bucky lets out a whine, pouting as he tears himself away from Logan. It’s like it physically hurts him to stop touching Logan.

He hangs off Logan’s arm as they shuffle through the hallways to their room. While Logan tries desperately to get the _fucking_ key-card to go in the _goddamn_ slot and give him the _fucking_ beep and the _shitting_ green light, Bucky stays cuddled up to his back, arms around Logan’s waist and hands toying with both his belt and his bulge, moaning in the man’s ear, soft little pleas leaving him.

“C’mon, Daddy, ‘m so _hungry,”_ he whines. “Need Daddy to feed me proper, get me all full and sated, and gimme treats for dessert. _Daddy, c’mon.”_

Logan swallows dryly, the goddamn card still fucking refusing to give him the fucking beep and light. “I’m tryin’, baby, hold on.”

Logan bites back a grunt when Bucky gives the outline of his hard cock a squeeze.

“I _am_ holdin’ on, Daddy,” he pouts.

Logan’s halfway to popping his top when the damn lock _finally_ beeps and lets them in.

They stagger inside, door slamming behind them. Logan tosses the bags aside; there’s nothing fragile in them, who cares? He gets hold of Bucky’s wrist and drags the kid out from where he still clings to the man’s back.

Bucky’s already flushed red and panting, his skirt tents in the front and shows _exactly_ how grateful he is. He moans like a whore when Logan gives his cheek a light slap.

“If you’re gonna act like a needy slut, Daddy’s gonna treat ya like one, y’know that, baby.”

“’M a needy slut, Daddy,” Bucky agrees.

He’s already as unsteady as a newborn fawn. Logan gives him the slightest push and it sends him tumbling to the floor. Of course, all Bucky does is moan at the rough treatment and spread his legs.

Logan falls on his knees. He grabs Bucky’s ankle and drags him closer by it, then easily flips him over onto his front. The thirsty bitch that he is, Bucky quickly gets his knees up under himself, putting his ass up on perfect display. Logan flips his skirt up. He grabs at the thready pantyhose and it takes hardly any effort to rip them open at the seam. Bucky moans at the sound of fabric splitting. Logan shoves his panties down then dives in.

Fuck, Bucky always tastes too damn sweet all over. Even here, his tight little rim quivering under Logan’s tongue.

_“Ah!_ Thank you, Daddy!” he cries, nails rasping at the hardwood floor.

Logan hums and makes Bucky cry again by darting his tongue inside. Still, as if reading Logan’s mind, Bucky untangled his arm from his purse and shoves it towards the other man. Logan paws after it blindly and digs into it just the same when he finds it, his mouth occupied elsewhere. He finds the tiny bottle of lube without issue.

“Daddy! Daddy, _please!”_

Logan brings his hand down firmly. The clash of skin makes Bucky whine.

“Needy bitch,” Logan grunts as he pulls away.

Bucky’s knees slide further apart, his back arching down low. He looks over his shoulder with big eyes, his pretty hair falling over his face.

“I-I’m a thirsty whore, Daddy,” he pants out.

Logan brings his hand down across his plump little ass again.

“Thirsty ‘nough to skip right past Daddy’s fingers, huh?” he asks.

Bucky whines and nods. “Wan- Wanna ache with you, Daddy,” he says. “Fucked me so good this- this morning, b-but my pussy’s still all hungry for you.”

That’s all Logan needs.

He gets his belt open and his dick out, then wets it quick, lube spilling everywhere.

He takes Bucky by the hips and pulls him closer. Bucky lets out the most beautiful sound when Logan shoves into him, easily bottoming out in a flash.

_“Fuck!”_ is all he can say about it, because honestly, there just aren’t any words to describe it.

His Bucky, all laid out beneath him, all for him, waiting to be brought to heaven like the angel he is. Hot and tight and sweet, like nothing else in the world. Logan could bust just looking at the kid; his perfect face, with pink, pouty lips and big soft eyes, and his body, so sweet to the touch and smooth and soft all over, and his hair like silk and hands that always feel warm and loving, and everything about him is just too perfect to be human, he really must be an angel.

Logan can’t help it. He knows this is sort of supposed to be a scene, but he can’t help it.

He bears down on Bucky until his knees press to his chest, his body covering Bucky’s entirely. He wraps his arms around Bucky’s shoulders and cradles his face. He helps Bucky to lift his head, to meet him in a tender kiss.

“Logan...?” Bucky whimpers, no doubt confused at the change of pace.

“Sorry, baby, I couldn’t- Fuck, I love you,” Logan tells him. “So beautiful, perfect, an angel come down from heaven, I swear, just to make me a better man.”

Somehow, Bucky’s red face flushes brighter yet. “L-Logan,” he says.

“Lemme take y’to bed, princess,” Logan continues, strewing lazy kisses on those beautiful lips as he talks. “Make love to ya. Please? Will you let me?”

Bucky whines, eyes screwing tightly shut. “Logan, yes, please, yes, I wanna- Yeah.”

Logan can’t stop kissing him. His blushy face is just too perfect for it.

“Gonna pull out, baby, okay? And carry you to bed and make love to you. Yeah?”

Bucky nods. “Y-Yeah.”

He makes a broken sort of noise when Logan withdraws from inside him. Yet, he crawls so willingly into the man’s open arms, holding onto him for dear life when Logan stands up.

Logan takes them to the bedroom quickly. There, he sets Bucky down on the edge of the bed and falls on his knees again. Dazed, Bucky only watches as Logan undoes his boots, and Bucky lets his body be moved to take off his pantyhose and underwear. He gasps, when Logan presses his mouth to the soft inside of his thigh. He trades them back and forth to each thigh, covering them both in wet, hot kisses. As he does, he gets the zipper on the skirt tugged down. When he eases it down Bucky’s legs, his mouth follows in its track. Looking up, he has to smile at Bucky wrestling with his shirt and jacket.

“Slow down, honey,” Logan says and helps.

“Can I-…” Bucky hesitates, once he’s naked.

“Can you, what, baby?” Logan asks.

He can’t help but run his hands all over Bucky’s body. He’s perfect.

“Can I-... Undress you?”

Logan’s smile widens. “Of course, angel.”

He help Bucky stand. The kid’s legs shake a little. Probably still a little soft from that dead-end scene, his ass probably a bit sore too from the lack of prep. Logan holds his waist.

Bucky blushes even as he undoes the buttons of Logan’s plaid. They’ve undressed each other a thousand times; why’s he blushing now?

“Why the blush, honey?” Logan asks, his thumb running up and down the raised lines of Bucky’s hip bones. “You embarrassed, baby?”

Bucky shakes his head. “You-... You never call it making love. Just...sex. And fucking.”

Logan hums. “It’s always makin’ love if it’s with you.”

It makes Bucky gasp, eyes shooting up to finally meet Logan’s. He gets the last button undone then tugs the shirt free from where it’s still partly tucked into Logan’s open jeans. He eases it off Logan’s shoulders, and the man lets it fall free of his arms. Together, they get the wife-beater up over his head and off too. Logan kicks off his boots, and tosses his socks after them.

“Can you-…”

“What, baby?”

“Can you...say it again?”

Logan shoves his jeans and boxers down, then steps out of them. He wraps his arms around Bucky’s naked body and pulls him in.

“Will you let me make love to you?”

He feels Bucky tense. His hands clutch Logan’s shoulders.

“No one’s ever made love to me before.”

“I told you. It’s always making love if it’s with you.”

“I-I-I know. I just-…”

“I didn’t know it then, but... The first time I made love to you, you were a nineteen-year-old virgin who just tried to run away from home and walked right into a blizzard.”

Bucky pulls sway. He stares at Logan.

“R-Really?”

“Like I said. Didn’t know it then.”

“When did you...realize?”

“Before I went to see you at school. Couldn’t stop thinkin’ about you all year. Always on my mind. Pretty face, soft hands, your voice, your eyes, you were all I thought about, y’know.”

“You never told me that.”

“I know. You’re makin’ me better at talkin’ about stuff. Feelin’s, dreams, hopes, fears. You make it easier to talk about.”

His heart aches when tears well up in Bucky’s eyes. It always cuts him so deep to see Bucky cry, even if it _is_ happy tears.

“M-Make love to me.”

Logan smiles.

They part from each other, though only to more easily climb into bed. Once they both kneel in the middle of the bed, they hold each other again.

Their sex tends to lean more towards _fucking_ than _love-making._ It’s usually high in pace because they’re just too hungry to go slower. It’s like they physically _need_ to touch, just to stay alive. They scarf down their meal like a starving men, when really, they should savour every bite.

They make themselves slow down this time.

Bucky doesn’t beg him to hurry up when Logan spends God knows how long putting his mouth on every inch of Bucky’s chest and neck. Logan shuts his eyes and simply enjoys it, when Bucky’s hands touch all over his body.

Where it’s usually a flash-fire, this instead feels like a slow-starting forest fire. Instead of a short-lived burst of flames, it’s an all-consuming inferno. A single flame catching, and catching, and catching, until the world world is nothing but unkillable _fire._

Logan’s mouth wanders lower. He kisses down Bucky’s tummy, making Bucky’s knees slide apart until he can’t help himself from moving. He lays down instead, panting as he looks up at Logan. The man gets back to it now that his path is laid open.

He moves as though to continue on to Bucky’s straining cock, but disregards it, moving past it. Bucky whines. He claws at the sheets.

“I know the damage’s done,” Logan says, speaking the words against Bucky’s thighs. “-but you want me to open you more?”

“No,” Bucky asked quickly. “I-... I wanna remember this. Just- Just a lil’ more lube, is fine.”

Logan nips at the soft juncture of Bucky’s thigh, making the kid gasp, before shuffling over to one of the nightstands. They would’ve left the lube there this morning, right? He finds it shortly and, as requested, wets himself liberally.

Bucky moans so prettily just from Logan joining him again, from him simply laying on top of him and embracing him. Bucky melts around him. He wraps both legs and arms around him as if to keep him from leaving.

How could Logan ever leave this?

Bucky cries out, body arching against Logan, nails and heels digging in, as Logan presses inside him again. The ache of it no doubt flares anew, the pain likely overtaking the pleasure at least until his body becomes more accustomed to it.

“I’m sorry, baby, sorry,” Logan murmurs as he kisses on Bucky’s neck, as if hoping to soothe the pain. “Know you want it, but I’m sorry. Never wanna hurt you, Buck. Never wanna cause you pain.”

Bucky’s fingers run through Logan’s hair. He tugs on it, pulls the man away from his neck to meet his eyes instead.

“I know, it’s okay, I know,” Bucky whispers. “I love you, it’s okay, I know.”

The kiss is languid. Slow as molasses. Logan remains still as they taste each other fully. He curls around Bucky, pulls his knees up close, until he’s a perfect protection against the world.

This is perfect.


	2. Chapter 2

The factory tour is not _quite_ as agonizing as the office tour, because at least in the factory, there’s cool stuff to look at.

Stark himself walks them through the different production floors and assembly lines. It’s a massive collection of several factories, all built up on a campus-like plot of land. Being as far away from the city as it is, needing to be in upstate New York to fit comfortably, the company also offers free housing on site, for those wishing to skip a daily commute; for the commuters, though, they’ve set up carpools and buses (paid for by the company) to ensure that the employees need not spend their entire wages simply on getting to and from work, as there are of course more pressing things that need to be figured into each employee’s personal budget and economy.

Logan’s a little surprised; Stark actually seems to give a proper damn about the people who work for him. More than any other boss Logan’s ever met, at least.

Logan and the handful of other plus one’s stick to the back of the group. They all sort of agreed that since it’s _their_ ‘field trip’, the guys from the class should be given _priority,_ or whatever you’d like to call it. And honestly, from what Logan’s gathered from the polite chit-chat, the whole lot of them, the plus one’s, are really just boyfriends and girlfriends of people in the class, with little interest in the engineering sciences themselves. Of course, meeting Stark and seeing the company and all, is cool, but none of them are particularly invested in the science in the same way the class is. They’re there more as _tourists,_ than to _learn,_ as it were.

He carries Bucky’s bag and watches from afar as Bucky enjoys himself, and that’s more than enough for Logan. As long as Bucky’s having fun and enjoying things, Logan’s happy.

Still, he’s massively grateful for the break when they all head to the campus restaurant for lunch. Damn, he _must_ be getting old if the best part of the day is sitting down and having a cup of coffee. Stark of course welcomes them to enjoy all the restaurant has to offer, free of charge just like for employees, while he excuses himself with his phone already glued to his head.

“The robotics on Line Four were _amazing!”_ Bucky gushes, half forgetting to eat the meal in front of him. “The mobility they’re achieving is _miles_ ahead of anything else I’ve seen!”

“They’ve found an interesting balance between automatic and manual labour,” Natasha agrees. “I’m especially interested in that VR diagnostics equipment the repair and maintenance department was using. I’d love to get a closer look at that.”

“Me too! It’s incredible to think they’re using 3D scanning and VR environment building to actually _look inside_ their machines to find the broken pieces,” Bucky says, gesturing with his fork, then gets up. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna try to find the lil’ boys room in this damn maze.”

Logan chuckles. “Good luck. If you ain’t back in twenty minutes, I’m sendin’ out the search party.”

“And that’s why I love you,” Bucky grins.

He plants a kiss on Logan’s cheek, then heads out of the cafeteria.

Logan makes the usual polite chit-chat, but mostly, the other students at the table go on about the tech they’ve seen so far and about Stark’s tour and such.

When the time just about hits twenty minutes and Bucky isn’t back yet, he gets up. He excuses himself, makes a joke about being the search party, and leaves Bucky’s bag with Natasha, then heads out.

Bucky was right. This place is a fucking maze. How is anyone supposed to find their way around this place without a damn map? It takes him another ten minutes before he finds Bucky.

And when he does, he can’t describe the _hurt_ he feels.

He rounds the corner, skidding to a stop when he sees them, then quickly steps back again. He doesn’t know why he doesn’t say anything, speak out, make them explain themselves. All he can do is step back and watch his fucking heart break.

It’s Stark. He’s got Bucky against the wall. Their hands are all over each other. It’s hard to see, but Bucky’s lips are red and puffy. Like he just got kissed out of his mind. Stark’s hands go to Bucky’s hips, Bucky’s fingers run through Stark’s hair, they lean in. Logan can see the kiss coming but he turns away before it begins.

He can’t- He couldn’t watch that.

He hears their voices, can’t make out the words, then they both laugh. He peeks around the corner again; they walk away in the opposite direction, away from where Logan hides, an arm around each other.

Logan turns back. He heads for the cafeteria.

He tells Natasha he couldn’t find Bucky. Says this whole tour is boring him out of his mind, he’ll hang out by the parking lot, wait there for the class to finish up. He leaves before she can say anything more.

Logan walks for what feels like hours. He’s not sure how he managed it, but in the end, he does end up back at the parking lot. Their bus-driver waits there too. He offers Logan a smoke, and Logan takes it. Once the drivers done with his own cigarette, he goes back into the bus to wait, leaving Logan to his own devices outside.

He sits down on one of the benches at the small bus-depot.

He can’t stop thinking about it.

Bucky with Stark. Stark with Bucky. Them, together.

His brain conjures up all these... _images._ Them in that hallway, tongues down each others throats, hands everywhere, stopping to laugh about Bucky’s idiot boyfriend who thinks he could ever be a match for someone like Stark. All his money and fame and genius, he can give Bucky _everything,_ make his dreams come true. What can Logan do? Logan’s a meal-ticket and a good lay, but not much more; Stark’s a stepping-stone to Bucky’s dreams.

But Bucky wouldn’t do that, would he? He’s... He’s too good for that. He wouldn’t cheat on Logan. Not... At least not usually.

This opportunity was just too good to pass up, maybe. Cheat on Logan and sleep with Stark, and Bucky’s future at S.I could be all but guaranteed.

Logan’s head goes in circles.

Bucky would never do this, but if it was to achieve his dreams, maybe he would, but no, he wouldn’t, unless maybe it would get him closer to reaching his dreams, but still, Bucky’s not that kind of person, and yet maybe he would be that person if his dreams were at stake. He finds a hundred different ways to say the same thing.

They’d probably be happier together, him and Stark. Logan can understand why Bucky would choose him. Doesn’t mean it hurts any less, though. Stark’s just... Yeah, Logan’s got some brains in him and he’s got some family money, sure, but he’s _nothing_ compared to Stark. The guys a multi-billionaire, and a fucking certified genius. Logan heard someone mention the guts got about three PhDs, and shit. Logan’s got nothing on that. Stark can actually _understand_ all the smart stuff Bucky does and says, while Logan sits there like an idiot.

Stark’s better than him in every way. He’s... Logan _hates_ it, but Stark’s what Bucky deserves. He’s the best of everything, and _that_ is what Bucky deserves. Logan’s a loser who understand engines better than he understands himself.

Before he knows it, enough time has passed that the class returns to the bus-depot. Stark is there to see them off. He’s talking to Bucky. Logan’s never seen the kid so excited over a conversation. Stark thanks the group for the visit, then heads back inside. Bucky rushes over to where Logan sits.

“Hey!” he says, the biggest smile on his face. “I missed you!”

Logan clears his throat. “Yeah. You too. I just...got bored.”

“It’s okay, I get it,” Bucky says, shrugging. “It’s not your thing, that’s all. Anyway, is it okay if I sit with Nat on the way back? We wanna compare notes on this whole thing!”

Logan nods. “Yeah. Sure. Whatever you want.”

“Thanks! And we’re probably gonna grab a coffee with some friends when we get back, and talk some more, if that’s cool?”

“Of course,” Logan tells him. He tries to smile.

He just wants Bucky to be happy.

Bucky runs away to join his friends.

Logan watches him go.

*

Logan empties the not-so-mini minibar in their room, because _fuck Stark,_ then starts packing his stuff. He wasted plenty of time in the hotel’s actual bar, but he hopes he’ll be done and gone before Bucky gets back.

The universe hates him, though, so of course Bucky’s back when Logan is _almost_ done, just to torture him.

He looks so damn happy as he comes into the bedroom; he tosses his bag onto the bed, but then stops, when he sees what Logan’s doing. Bucky’s happy expression turns into confusion.

“Hey. What’re you doing?” he asks, sitting down on the bed and looking up at Logan.

The man sighs. “Packing,” he says.

He shoves his nice clothes into his bag without folding them; he’d planned to take Bucky out to a nice dinner before they went home, but...guess a few wrinkles won’t matter now.

“I can see that,” Bucky hums. “But why? We’re not leavin’ for another few days.”

 _“You’re_ not leavin’ for another few days,” Logan corrects. “I’m leavin’ tomorrow.”

“What? Why?” Bucky asks, even more confused now, upset filling his voice.

 _“Because_ I don’t wanna stay.”

Logan keeps shoving shit into his bag. He needs to _go._ He can’t stay any longer.

“Why not? I mean, I know this stuff isn’t your thing,” Bucky says. “But you don’t have to leave. You can do other stuff when we go see Stark’s-”

The mere _mention_ of the guy is the straw that breaks the camel's back.

 _“I saw you!”_ Logan shouts before he can think better of it.

Bucky startles at the sudden shout, eyes going wide in shock.

Logan takes a deep breath and tries to stay calm. He doesn’t want this to turn into a screaming match. He hasn’t got the heart for it.

“I saw you, okay?” he says again, keeping from raising his voice this time. “With him. With- With fuckin’ _Stark!”_

That only has Bucky seeming confused again. “What?”

It’s too much. Fuck that he _did it,_ but he won’t even own up to it? Not even when Logan’s literally telling him he saw the whole thing.

“You were all over each other, lookin’ like a couple’a love-struck kids! Had his creepy lil’ hands all over ya!” Logan says, unable to stay calm anymore. He zips his duffle shut and snatches it up. “And all you did was look happy about it! Lookin’ like ya just got kissed outta your damn mind!”

He stomps away towards the door. He can’t fucking do this. It hurts too fucking much. He just wants to get out of the way. It hurts like hell but if Stark is the one who makes Bucky happy, then Logan’s not going to stand in the way.

“Logan, wait!” Bucky cries, following. “It’s not-” He gets a hold of Logan’s arm, making him stop and turn. “I can explain!”

“Explain _what?”_ Logan bites, pulling his arm free. “How you’re gonna cuddle up on him for an internship?”

Bucky’s eyes are wide and glassy, glazed in tears. “That’s not fair, Lo-”

“No, it ain’t fair, Buck,” the other man interrupts. “But neither’s what I saw you doin’, so I’m gonna call us even.”

Bucky swallows. “Logan…”

The man sighs. Fuck. He can’t take it, watching Bucky cry. Breaks his fucking heart. Well, worse than it’s already been fucking broken, that is.

“Castle’s place’s in town. I’m gonna...crash on his couch. I’ll drive back in the mornin’ or somethin’, and get my shit squared away.”

Logan heads for the door again.

“Logan, wait, I-” Bucky tries

“Have fun,” Logan says, stopping him, just before the door swings shut behind him.


	3. Chapter 3

_“Hey, Bucky, what’s up?”_

_“He dumped me-e-e-e!”_ Bucky sobs into his phone.

 _“What? What’re you saying?”_ Natasha answered, static crackling around her voice. _“You’re not making sense.”_

Bucky wipes the snot from his nose with the sleeve of his hoodie. _“Logan dumped me!”_ he wails.

 _“What?! Wha-_ What?! _Why would he do that?!”_

 _“I dunno-o-o!”_ he cries.

_“Fuck… Okay, I’m coming over, okay? We’re gonna figure it out, yeah?”_

“Okay… I just love him so mu-u-u-ch!”

_“I know, baby, and we’re gonna figure it out and fix it, okay?”_

“Okay, Tasha, love you, thank you, you’re the best, thank you.”

Bucky hangs up and tosses his phone aside, collapsing face-first into his pillows. Fuck, they’re not even _his_ pillows because he’s in a stupid hotel! At least let him grieve in the comfort of his own fucking home!

Why would Logan do this? Bucky thought Logan _trusted_ him, why would he doubt him like this? Bucky would never do _that_ to him, to anyone. He can only _imagine_ how badly being cheated on would hurt, and he would _never_ want to hurt someone like that.

Especially not _Logan._ He loves Logan. And… Logan’s been through so much bad stuff in his life; first his family, then all the bad stuff that comes with any service in the armed forces, the break from his brother (Bucky knows that one hurts Logan _a lot_ more than he wants to admit), the extreme isolation of his job as a trucker. Logan is…fragile. Emotionally. _He_ doesn’t think so, of course, but Bucky knows. He can see it. No one shuts themself off like Logan did for so long, if they’re not trying to protect themself from pain, both old and new.

But they made so much progress! Logan’s been coming out of his emotional shell more and more, the longer they’ve been together.

Bucky would _never_ do this; he knows it would tear Logan apart and push him deeper into his shell than he ever was before. Bucky couldn’t do that to him.

Natasha bursts into the hotel room like a whirlwind on legs. She goes straight for the phone and Bucky listens to her as she orders the standard break-up supplies from room service; wine, chocolate, ice cream, and so on. Then, she climbs into bed with him. She sits next to him but doesn’t say or do anything else.

Bucky rolls over onto his back.

“He think I’m gonna sleep with Stark to get one of the internships,” he says softly.

The tears have stopped, for now. He knows himself, though, so the respite won’t last all too long.

Natasha hums. “I mean, you _are_ a whore, but you’re not _that much_ of a whore,” she agrees.

 _“Right?”_ Bucky whines. “And I’m not a cheater! You know that!”

“I know,” she says. "Here’s the plan, Buck. We’re gonna eat ice cream, gorge on chocolate, and get wine-drunk, then tomorrow, we’re gonna phone-bomb S.I until they let us talk to Stark and we’re gonna make him explain to your idiot man how stupid he is. Okay?”

Bucky snivels, wiping his nose again. “Really think Stark’ll do that? He doesn’t even know us, why would he care?”

“I dunno if he will,” Natasha admits. “But we have to try, right? You didn’t sleep with Stark and you’ve got no plans to do so, right?”

Bucky shakes his head. “Never.”

“Well, either we get Stark to tell Logan that, _or_ we figure out how to convince Logan of it without him.”

Bucky nods, tears welling up again. “Okay.”

He feels hopeless, but… He needs to believe that they’ll figure this out.

He just… He just loves Logan so much. It’s crazy, but… God, it feels like he can’t imagine life without Logan in it.


	4. Chapter 4

Matt Murdock is a gift from God and Frank Castle does not deserve him.

As soon as Matt opens the door and Logan tells him he needs a place to crash because he and Bucky broke up, Matt pulls him into a hug and starts doting on him. He makes up the couch for Logan with their best pillows and blankets, and immediately orders Logan’s favorite pizza and offers him several glasses of whiskey.

Frank is not impressed. Actually, he looks a little jealous that _he’s_ not the one being doted on, that _bottom._ Frank might act all big and tough, but Logan knows for damn sure the guy wants nothing more than to be praised like a dog and fucked like one too. _Ah, the good old days..._ The marines are a _hotbed_ of homoerotic discovery, Logan knows that from experience.

Okay, Logan might be _a little_ drunk, but give him a break, yeah? He just got cheated on by the fucking love of his life, he’s allowed to wallow and drink his feelings away.

Oh, God, is he turning into _his dad?_

Wait, no. Logan has no kids or a wife to beat on, so no, he’s not like his dad; he’s just a newly single loser who needs a fucking drink.

Logan passes out on the Castle-Murdock household’s very uncomfortable leather couch, before it’s even dark out.

*

Logan wakes up with a mouth that tastes like ashes, which is weird because Bucky made him quit smoking three months ago.

It’s not until he opens his eyes and looks around that he realizes that this very uncomfortable bed isn’t a bed at all, but a couch, which would explain the twinge in his back. It also reminds him exactly of everything that went down yesterday.

Bucky and Stark. The…break-up. Logan taking refuge with Matt and Frank.

Fuck. His back isn’t the only thing that hurts.

“Up an’ at ‘em, patch!”

Frank comes over. He sets down a plate of food and a cup of coffee on the table.

Logan sits up and grabs the plate, he wolfs down the eggs and bacon, and _prays_ it will abate his hangover. He chugs the coffee for the same reason.

Frank still stands over him as Logan lays back down.

 _“What?”_ Logan questions, covering his face with one of the pillows.

Frank slurps his coffee. “Nothin’. Just enjoyin’ the _pathetic_ show.”

“Thanks for the moral support, Lieutenant.”

“You got it, Captain.”

Logan listens to Matt come over as well, and smirks to himself when he hears the man smack his dumb husband over the head.

 _“Stop it,_ Frank,” Matt orders. “He’s your friend, and he’s hurting, why aren’t you supporting him?”

“Oh, please! He knew that twink was too good for hi- _Ow!”_

Logan takes a measure of sadistic pleasure out of hearing Matt smack Frank again.

“Go do the dishes,” Matt says.

“But-”

_“Dishes.”_

Frank walks away, muttering to himself. Another plate is set down on the coffee table.

“Have some cookies. Freshly baked. Made ‘em while you were sleeping. Guaranteed heartache-reliever.”

Logan sighs. He removes the pillows. He reaches over and grabs one of the cookies, still a little warm from the oven, and shoves the whole thing in his mouth.

“Fhanksh, Ma’,” Logan says through it as he chews.

Matt smiles. “There’s plenty more of them, so don’t hesitate, alright?” he says.

He grabs the other plate and the empty mug then joins Frank in the kitchen again.

Frank was right. Logan’s _pathetic._ This whole _thing_ is pathetic. Bucky _is_ and always _was_ too good for Logan. He knew that from the start. He always knew it. He knew the day would come when Bucky would realize it too; he was just hoping to God it wouldn’t be so soon. He was hoping he could hold onto the dream for a little longer.

Guess it was just a matter of time. This whole… _field-trip_ probably accelerated the whole thing, too. Bucky meeting Stark in person probably helped him figure out how much better than _Logan_ he could do.

The doorbell rings. Frank goes to answer it; Logan sits up again, and starts looking around for his clothes. Guess it’s just polite to get dressed, right?

“Are you Frank Castle?” he hears whoever is at the door ask as it opens for them.

“Who’s askin’?” Frank counters.

“I just need to know if Logan Howlett’s staying here, I need to talk to him.”

“And you are…?”

“Stark. Tony Stark.”

 _Oh, great..._ Come to rub salt in the wound, eh?

And that fucking dumbass Castle, he leads the guy right into the apartment, delivering Logan to him on a silver fucking platter, presenting him to the firing squad.

Frank shows Stark to the living room then escapes to the kitchen once more, as if that doesn’t give both him and Matt front-row seats to this whole thing.

Stark’s stands over the couch, prim as fucking ever, tailored suit and gelled up hair and everything. Logan wants to kick his ass. He also feels even more fucking _pathetic_ when faced by the guy.

There he is, the picture of style, wealth, and elegance; and here Logan sits, a hungover loser in his underwear crashing on a friend’s couch.

“What do you want?” he spits at the fucker. “Ain’t you done enough?”

Stark lets out a sigh, eyes rolling and hands gesturing to add a dramatic flair. “Okay, _look!_ I am _not_ interested in your boyfriend!” he all but shouts, then rants on, “Yes, I think his research proposal has some merit and I _am_ considering offering him one of the internship positions, _but_ I have _zero_ interest in conducting any sort of romantic or sexual relationship with him!”

He’s really going to act like he didn’t pull some scummy ass shit, just yesterday?

“Yeah? That right?” Logan says. He grabs another cookie. “‘Cause ya looked real damn interested yesterday.”

Stark sighs again. He pinches the bridge of his nose, then refocuses.

“And that was an _accident!_ I’ve got the fucking surveillance footage on my phone if that’s what it’ll take for you to believe me, but it was an accident!” he goes on. “We came around the corner from opposite directions, smacked into each other, and stopped to make sure neither of us were gushing blood or anything! I got dizzy because he hit my head, and I had to lean on him! His lips were red and swollen because I hate to admit it but I’m only tall enough to reach that high and _that’s_ where the impact hit him! We had a good laugh about it, then I showed him to the bathrooms, which was where he was going before we bumped into each other. We decided to walk back to the cafeteria together too, to avoid him getting lost and me getting dizzy again and possibly collapsing alone with my possible concussion. We talked, had a few laughs, nothing more!”

Logan stares at him. He actually thinks Logan’s dumb enough to buy a shit story like that?

“Look, I gotta pick up a car at the rental service soon,” Logan tells him, not quite lying but maybe fudging a little with the time-frame, “-so if you’re done with the bullshit excuses, you know where the door is. You’re smart enough to see yourself out.”

The other man groans, clucking his tongue and rolling his eyes. He reaches into the inside pocket of his jacket and pulls out his phone. He fiddles with it for a second, then tosses it to Logan, who manages to catch it.

“Here’s the surveillance video. I made sure to put together the feeds, so it’ll follow us both from our original locations, to the collision, the aftermath, to the bathrooms, and back to the cafeteria. For your _complete_ inspection, if you’re so inclined.”

He clasps his hands tightly and glares at Logan with sharp eyes.

“Barnes is a smart kid. More than that, he’s kind. Didn’t talk to him all that much, but I gathered as much even from the little we _did_ talk. He wouldn’t shut up about you.”

What...?

Logan stares, first at the phone then at the man.

“Talks about you like you hung the moon in the sky and like you’re the one who makes the world turn,” Stark says, his voice falling as soft as his words. “He _adores_ you, and you broke his heart. Remember that. Excuse me.”

Stark turns towards the kitchen, smiling then. “Misters Castle-Murdock, I’m sorry for disturbing your morning. You have a lovely home, despite your choice in couch-surfers. Have a nice day.”

And with that, he does as Logan asked and sees himself out.

Logan turns over the phone to look at the screen. It’s got a video up, though it’s stopped at the very start. The clip looks to be several minutes long. Logan hits play.


	5. Chapter 5

_Where the heck are the bathrooms, again? Bucky’s_ sure _he saw a sign for it on the way into the cafeteria, but now he can’t seem to find it again. What the hell… All he wants is to take a damn leak, not wander around a maze unsupervised!_

 _Oh, well, fingers crossed it’s around_ this _corner!_

 _Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t, Bucky has a hard time saying for sure, since he has a very direct_ collision _with another person coming around the corner from the other way. It’s a shorter person, which sadly means that their forehead smashes directly into Bucky’s mouth and chin, and Bucky is pretty sure he bites his lip pretty badly because of it._

_The both of them stagger back, each holding themselves at the point of impact. Bucky cradles his chin, tasting just a little drip of blood on his tongue, while Stark hisses and cradles his forehead._

_“Ow, ow, ow,” Stark whines to himself._

Stark?!

 _Oh,_ fuck! _Well, there goes Bucky’s future at S.I! He just fucking_ assaulted _the owner of the damn company, so he_ strongly _doubts he’ll ever be welcomed back again. Hell, he’ll be damn lucky is he doesn’t get buried in lawsuits for this shit._

_“Hey, you okay? It’s Barnes, right?” Stark says. “You good?”_

_Bucky hums, stepping back and leaning against the wall. He touches at his lower lip lightly to asses the damage. Damn, it already feels just a little swollen, but at least he’s not bleeding anymore. He probably just got a few drops of blood from the inside of his lip, but nothing worse._

_“I’m okay,” Bucky insists. “And you? Are you okay, Mister Stark? I swear, it was an accident, I was just lookin’ for the bathrooms, and I got lost, and then we both came ‘round the corner, I guess, and-”_

_“Cool it, Barnes!” Stark interrupts, though with a grin. “It’s_ fine! _Accidents happen. Fuck, can you just look at my head? Feels kinda wet here, just wanna check if I’m bleeding.”_

_Bucky nods quickly. Stark steps closer to him and leans his head in. Bucky takes his head gently in his hands, parting the front of the man’s hairline with his thumbs to feel and see for an open cut. He hardly registers Stark holding onto his waist, at least until the man wobbles slightly._

_“You okay, Mister Stark? Are you dizzy? Fuck, I might’ve given you a damn_ concussion! _Is there a nurse or somethin’ anywhere around here? Maybe you should get checked out proper?”_

_Stark shakes his head, still held absently in Bucky’s hands. “Nah, it’s fine, I’ll get checked out once we’re back in the city, don’t worry. Hold still, lemme see that lip.”_

_Bucky tries to pout his lips slightly to make them easier to inspect._

_“Looks okay. You’ll probably have a fat-lip for a while, but shouldn’t be worse than that.”_

_“And it doesn’t look like I broke the skin,” Bucky agrees. “Might have a bump, and maybe a_ _minor_ _concussion if you’re dizzy_ _, I dunno_ _, but that’s should be it.”_

_“Alright, then. If you’d kindly let go’a my head, Mister Barnes?” Stark says with a snort, still with a shit-eating grin on his face._

“Oh!” _Bucky lets out, quickly letting go, a chuckle leaving him too. “Sorry!”_

_Stark laughs. “No worries, I’ve had worse,” he says. “C’mon, I’ll show you to the bathrooms. I should probably stick around too, just to make sure you don’t body-tackle someone on the way back too.”_

_They both laugh as Stark begins to lead the way._


	6. Chapter 6

Matt and Frank lean over the back of the couch, watching over Logan’s shoulders. Well, _Frank_ watches, and whisper-narrates the whole video to his husband.

Logan stares at the screen even as the video ends.

Bucky didn’t-…

It was-…

It was a mistake. It was a misunderstanding. Logan got it wrong. They weren’t- They weren’t _doing_ anything, they just-… It was an accident.

Logan fucked up. Logan fucked _everything_ up. Logan broke Bucky’s heart, Logan messed up so fucking bad.

_“You moron!”_

Logan feels the wallop on the head before he hears the words.

 _“Ow!_ What the hell, Matt?!” he shouts.

And like the blind _ninja_ the bastard is, Matt lunges over the back of the couch onto the seats, grabs a pillow, and starts beating Logan with it.

_“Dumbass! Idiot! Ass! Stupid, stupid, stupid!”_

_“Alright, alright!”_ Frank interrupts, thankfully, grabbing the pillow and taking it out of Matt’s hands. “Cool it off!”

Still, Matt simply punches Logan in the arm, right on that nasty fucking nerve right in the middle of the upper arm.

“Bucky Barnes is one of the smartest, kindest, most sincere people I have _ever_ met! Never in a million years would a marsh-mellow like him _cheat_ on anyone! Hell, I bet the kid’s never even cheated on a test, and _everyone_ does that! How stupid can you be, Logan?!” Matt berates him. “Not only is he the sweetest person to ever grace this bitch of a planet, he also _loves you!_ I’m _blind,_ and _I_ could see how badly he adores your stupid ass! You’re a moron. An absolute _nincompoop!_ If my husband didn’t consider you a close, personal friend, I’d kick your ass, right here in my own damn living room! If I knew _that’s_ why you broke up, I’d’ve slammed the damn door in your face, you dumbass!”

Logan needs to get back to the hotel, _right now._

*

He knocks on the door. He doesn’t want to presume his welcome, and all. He’s the one who fucked up, and...Bucky’s got every right to be mad and slam the door on him and lock him out and ignore him.

But almost before he’s finished knocking, the door is thrown open.

Bucky’s on the other side, still dressed in yesterday’s clothes, bundled up in one of his massive comfort-hoodies. His hair looks wild. His eyes are wet and red-rimmed, like he’s been crying ever since Logan left.

“Logan…” he says, though it’s hardly more than a whisper.

“Hey," is all Logan can produce at the moment.

Bucky swallows. “Um. C’mon in.”

“Thanks.”

Logan steps inside. He leaves his bag by the door, so it’s easy to grab if and when he gets kicked out.

“So... I guess Mister Stark found you,” Bucky says as he shuts the door.

Logan paces deeper into the room. He falls into a seat on the couch in the living area.

“Yeah. He...explained. Hell, he even showed me the footage from the damn security cameras just to make sure I got it.”

“Okay. That’s good,” Bucky says.

He comes over as well. He sits down in one of the armchairs that mirror the couch.

“I-... I wanted to explain, but you... You left so fast. And you wouldn’t answer your phone.”

Logan’s nods. “I know. I’m sorry. I’m...an asshole. I saw you and him, and you were...like that, and before I knew it, all I could think about was...leavin’ you before you left me,” he allows himself to admit, even while he doesn’t have the strength to meet Bucky’s eye. “Figured...maybe it’d hurt me less that way.”

“Leave you? Why would I _leave_ you?” Bucky questions. God, he sounds...just so confused and upset and...sad. _“I love you!”_

Logan knows what he wants to say, what he wants to _get across,_ but that’s not his issue, that’s never been the issue. It’s _finding the right words_ that’s hard. It always has been. He doesn’t know how to say the things he wants to say, in a way that makes sense. It all just gets jumbled up and confused, so he gave up on trying.

He’s gotten better. Talking with Bucky has made him better. Talking about each other, their relationship, feeling and dreams and all that shit, that’s helped make it a little easier.

But there’s a long way to go, and Logan can certainly sense it at the moment.

Bucky always tells him to just _talk._ Put his thoughts out there, and then they can weed through them together. Work together to straighten it out.

Fuck it. No better time than now, to follow the kid’s advice.

“But...he’s better’an me. Smarter, funnier, more handsome. He...understands you. In ways that I don’t. And I just... I got scared. That you’d realize it too. And you’d leave me for him.”

It feels like when the thoughts starts coming out, he’s not sure how to stop them.

“He could...give you everything you’ve always dreamed of. All the stuff you always talk about, your research and your ideas and your projects, he could make it all come true.”

A big part of him hates to admit all these things, to put names on his own issues with self-worth and so on, but at the same time, he knows he _needs_ to get these things out or he won’t make any sense.

“And...I can’t. So I thought I’d...let you make your dreams come true. Even if I didn’t get to be apart of them. I didn’t care. I just...wanted you to be happy. I thought it would make you happy.”

“Logan…” Bucky says softly, drawing the man’s eyes to him for the first time in what feels like an eternity. _“You_ make me happy.”

Bucky’s on his feet, then; he starts pacing as he starts talking. Logan bites down on a momentary smile. Bucky tends to pace when he’s talking about something that’s important to him.

“Yeah, he’s smart, and funny, and handsome. But so are you! Yeah, I can talk science with Stark, but with you, I can talk about _everything!_ I don’t care that maybe you don’t fully understand my research when I talk about it! Practically no one does! Y’know who does understand it? _Biomechanical engineers!_ The people who are _supposed_ to understand it! Whether anyone else gets it or not doesn’t matter! I’m happy that you listen to me, even if you don’t understand all of it! I’m happy because _you care that it’s something I care about!_ That’s all I need. And I wanna make my dreams come true on my own, Logan! Yeah, getting an internship at S.I might be the first step, but I wanna get that internship because Stark sees merit in my ideas, not because he wants to _fuck me!”_

He’s crying again, when he stops. He swears and sighs, and wipes the tears away.

Bucky turns away. He crosses his arms, wrapping them around himself as if he’s simply that desperate to shield himself.

“I love you. I’m sorry. I messed up, I know, and _I’m sorry,”_ Logan tells him, pleading. “I...I hope you can forgive me. Even if it takes time to get there. I’ll wait. I’ll... I’ll do anything.”

“Then stop being stupid and _talk to me!”_ The words burst out of Bucky in a choked shout. Logan deserves to get yelled at. “When you’re upset or jealous, or anything like that. Logan, you…”

His voice quiets again, falling soft and low. Looking at him, it’s obvious he doesn’t really have it in him to scream and shout and be angry. It’s obvious that he is much more _hurt,_ than upset.

“You broke my heart last night. It hurt so bad it felt like I was dying.”

“I’m sorry,” Logan says, standing up, and repeats it as he rounds the coffee table to stand before Bucky, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’ll say it a million times and mean it just as much every single time.”

Bucky shakes his head. He looks up at Logan through tear-dappled lashes. “I don’t... I don’t want apologies. I want... I want you to never do that again. Even if the day comes when you wanna leave me, I want you to at least _talk to me_ about it. Tell me where we went wrong and give us a chance to fix it. Can you just promise me that?”

“Okay,” Logan says without hesitation. “I promise. I jumped to conclusions and I didn’t let you explain and this is all my fault, _I_ messed up and I’m sorry, and I swear to you, it won’t happen again. I’ll be better. _I’ll be better.”_

He says it like a promise, like a vow. And it is. He was...hurt, and angry, and just so _scared_ to be hurt even more when Bucky would eventually break his heart and leave him for someone _better,_ and it made him _desperate_ to run away before it could happen. He doesn’t want this to end, this thing they have, their relationship, but at the same time, being the one to leave felt like it would hurt less than being the one who got left.

But like he told Bucky, it still hurt like hell.

“Okay,” Bucky whispers, after regarding him in silence.

Logan nods. “Okay.”

Bucky swallows. He bites his lip. “I love you.”

The breath hitches in Logan’s chest. “Bucky... I love you too.”

He reaches his hands out, and considers it a victory when Bucky doesn’t flinch or move out of his reach. He places his hands on the kid’s shoulders, squeezing them gently, as if just to make sure he’s not an illusion.

“More than you can ever imagine.”

Bucky nods. “Can we lay down? I... I wanna be held.”

“Of course,” Logan says, then remembers, “Wait.”

He steps away and hurries to where he left his bag.

"Matt made these. Chocolate chip,” he says as he digs out the cookie tin Matt out them in, then joins Bucky again. He smiles as he delivers Matt’s message along with them. “He said to give ‘em to you and say he’s sorry I’m a dumbass, and he kicked my ass when he heard Stark’s story, and he hopes you make me sleep on the couch for at least a month, and _lastly,_ he hopes we’ll all hang out again soon.”

It draws a soft laughter out of Bucky as he takes the tin, and Logan could thank God for Matt Murdock, that saint among men.

Bucky lets out a playful hum, as he considers Matt’s request. “We’ll start with _two weeks_ on the couch, and see how I’m feeling after that.”

Logan smiles. Yeah, he deserves _at least_ that much.

“Do the two weeks start now, or when we get home?”

Bucky takes him by the hand. “I need cuddles right now, but we’ll see tonight.”

Logan thinks that sounds fair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaand thats the angsty fic!
> 
> again, here are my other half-baked ideas, so tell me which one you wanna see next!
> 
> The Talk fic:  
> They talk about where the relationship is going and what they want out of it.
> 
> Fucking ar a frat party:  
> Bucky drags Logan to a frat party and they end up fucking at the party, either in private or in front of an audience since buckys already known as the schools biggest slut (until he met logan, that is, but hes not about to give up his hard-earned title just cause he got a boyfriend)
> 
> Howlett family reunion:  
> Logan meets/talks to his brother and/or his shitty father, plus some other Stuff i had in mind that i dont wanna spoil
> 
> (new) Big Sexy Partyyyy:  
> logan arranges a big Party for his baby boy, and invites all his friends, like cable and frank and matt, to show his kitten a Good Time
> 
> <3


End file.
